Life Is Fair

Life is fair. It’s actually the fairest of all games we play in life because it’s inherently TRUE.  No matter what you think of, you get - IF you FEEL it enough.  No one can cheat you in life. No one can detour you.  You cheat you.  You detour you.  No one makes you feel a damn thing. You allow someone else to make you feel those things.  I’ve been there.  I’ve done that.  I still do it.  It’s still true though.

The best analogy I think I’ve heard goes something like “If you squeeze an orange, what comes out?  Orange juice right.  Just like humans.  Whenever you squeeze them, whatever is inside them comes out as well.  If they have anger in them, anger comes out.  If they are sad, sadness.  But at no time can someone else place that thing in them.  Just like you can’t put orange juice inside the orange.”

I care for people deeply, and am often sympathetic for their outward reactions of depression, hurt, seclusion and other forms of solitary misunderstanding.  But it’s a farce.  We are what we are RIGHT NOW.  You actually GET to choose that feeling each and every moment.  Life can be crumbling around you, but YOU can choose to be happy regardless.  Or you can travel the downward spiral.  It’s your choice.  One of them is empowering and actually beneficial to your life.  The other is the sum of the need for attention and a lack of belief in oneself.  Those are the true issues.  The things we need to work on as people before we are ever to become happy.

As an obsessive observer of my surroundings, I’ve come to form my own   philosophy in life.  I call it “Moments Trump Legacy”, but i’m sure there are a thousand other variations of it.  In simple form, it means that no matter what you believe in, or what you’ve been taught, or even what’s been beaten into you, at any given time, not only can you change, you WILL do someting different than what you believe yourself to be.  Deep down, there is a TRUE you, no matter how many layers have been stacked upon you or how many layers you have built as protection for that true you.

Legacy is that thing that you think of as your childhood.  Good or bad, it made you.  But it’s not true.  It made the “typical” you.  But moments are those things that the typical you has no say in.  Moments are when you ask yourself “Is this really happening?” and then go for it anyway.  It may have been for a special someone. A dream job.  A best friend.  A bet.  A remark that made someone’s day. We’ve all had them.  A moment when you look back and smile and say “Wow, I can’t believe I did that”.  And it feels good.

The thing is, you can BE those moments ALL the time.  They don’t have to be moments.  They can be your life.   It takes growing and letting go and a whole lot of strength and believing. I’m not going to lie.  When you play a game that most people play by different rules, it feels unfair at times.  You are going to get hurt.  You are going to get lied to, cheated on, stolen from and betrayed.  But you get to choose how you feel about those things. And in time, not only will they become powerless to your emotions, they will become enriching lessons that further increase your ability to see MOMENTS as they happen.

Once you are able to see moments as they happen, and see the lesson as it unfolds, you gain the power of decisiveness.  At 32 years old, decisiveness to me is the meaning to all things.  Whatever you believe, believe it wholly.  If you want something, want it all the way.

Without decisiveness, there is only failure.  The only way to dodge failure is to make up your mind.   The only way to make up your mind is to believe in something strongly enough.  And the only way to believe in someting enough is to KNOW it.  We know through certain ways.  Experience. Learning.  Advice from others.  None of them are as powerful as your GUT knowing though.  There is no school for it. No one can teach it to you.  You can’t even technically learn it yourself.  What you have to do is UNLEARN how you are blocking your intuition and then just trust what it is telling you.  At all times.  In every situation.  It’s ALWAYS right.

The two best ways of learning how to unlearn the B.S. that you’ve learned are two of the most dwindling traits I see anymore, but they are the only way to get to a point of creating your happiness instead of “reacting” it.  The first is love.  If you love even the things that hurt you, how can you be hurt any longer.  If you understand that without hurt, you couldn’t actually know happiness, you trust that hurt is in your life for a reason.  Without dark, there is no light.  Without pain, there is no pleasure.  Balance is the beauty of life.

The other trait is truth.  Without truth, you will never be free.  Truth is often difficult to speak, but each time we trade truth for hiding behind a false truth, WE ourselves are weakened.  No one else is getting hurt.  You are damaging your own ability to love and accept that you are your emotions, good or bad, and they are both good.  They are making you, you. Or should be.  Maybe you are hiding behing BUZZWORDS.  Stressed.  Embarrassed.  Hated On.  Cock Blocked.  Dissed.  You can walk away and be YOU.  Or you can get caught up in THAT MOMENT and be a lesser you.  The one you hold on to for dear life.  Because not having it is frightening.

There is a better you in there, you just have to trust that letting it out won’t hurt you more than you are getting hurt now.  So sad, but it’s true.  That’s how hurt we all are.  Myself included.  It’s like going through life thinking our favorite blanket will protect us somehow. But it doesn’t obviously.  Neither does your EGO.  You only think it does. You and I both know the day we gave up our blankies was hard, but the truth was better than what we thought was truth.  The truth set us free.  Hiding behind truth can never set you free, only believing you were wrong and creating a new reality can set you free.

Another way to look at it is when you were a baby, you loved and trusted everything.  You screamed like no one else existed.  You shit yourself and smiled.  You touched everything even when you were told not to. Then you learned over time how to live life according to someone else’s rules.  Rules that don’t fit your life. That aren’t congruent with your emotions.  So what do we do?  We hide.  We create walls.  We have automatic responses to 75% of the things we react to in life.  We become something other than ourselves.  Undescribable concotions of past us’s, confused us’s, future us’s and worst of all hurt and misguided us’s.  We react instead of live.  We defend when we should be extending.  We were whole, we only learned not to be.  If we learned it, we can unlearn it.

Another truth is that if we are born whole, we are always whole.  No more, no less.   That includes our bad habits.  Bad habits cannot be lost.  They can only be traded for other habits.  One of these habits is believing in ourselves, in the end goal.  In the idea that life is a journey, not a destination.  We can’t stop being negative.  We can only learn to be positive.  To learn to be aware of our thoughts and how powerful they are on the outcome in our lives.  Indeed, they are the outcome.  Nothing else is more factual.  It’s what makes moments so powerful in our lives.  We all have traumatic flotsam in our conscience.  But you and only you choose to think about it.  Does it deserve thought. Probably.  Will thinking about it improve your life. Probably not.  It will probably do the opposite.  You’ll use it to entice sympathy and attention.  Neither of which is TRUTH.  Neither of which will set you free to choose how your life will be instead of reacting to it.

You can choose how things go each and every single moment of your life.  But it takes strength and belief in yourself. It takes knowing that a good life includes some bad moments, for without them, you wouldn’t be able to define good.  It takes knowing that a good life includes sorrow, betrayal, loss.  Who cares though.  Since they are fact and are in fact needed to understand joy, trust and rewards, they are a wonderful thing.  When you trust them, you see them as they happen.  And you get to choose THAT VERY MOMENT, to treat that moment as a good moment, and not one in which you melodramatically react to, fishing for false reinforcement.

Slow down.  See life as it’s happening.  Enjoy the moment.  Each moment.  They are all equal. Without them, you AREN’T.  You are a human BEING.  Be.  Don’t do.  Be who you are. That’s your value to the world.  Don’t do.  Do is for losers.  Do is for failures.  Do is for our past selves.   Be who you want to be, when you want to be and for whatever reason you choose to be.  It’s difficult, but not impossible.  We all have some evidence of what I’m talking about in our pasts.  We just choose to believe in miracles instead of the fact that LIFE IS ITSELF A MIRACLE. Stop fighting it and let it be.

Let your moments be created, not create you.  Thank me or hate me, thank you and I’ll never hate you.  We’ve shared a moment together and that’s good enough to qualify you as an important thing in my life.  I’ve learned something from each and every one of you.  You have from me as well.  I personally wouldn’t want to delete any of those moments for any reason because I love who I am and I know I’m only getting better.  I’m better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow.